Weird Dreams...

So I dreamt that I was back at the Devonshire house in L.A. (but we were still in San Jose) and I was living with my father. We unpacked and everything was fine. Then out of nowhere I get a phone call from him. He sounded really angry and he said that he was going to kill me. I didn't take it seriously at first but then I saw him in the laundry room with a rifle. Then I got scared so I ran outside to run out the gate and he was shooting at me. I got out the gate and then started running down the street. Luckily David somehow miraculously showed up and parked his car on the sidewalk. I got in and saw that there were John and Howard. My dad was still shooting so David drove off. I was calling people at this point to see if I could stay at their house. We went to Jennifer's house and I knocked on her door but she wasn't home. We went to a desolated area and sat down. I started to cry because the shock of the whole thing suddenly got to me. We were running out of gas and I was paranoid that my father was chasing me. I called Jennifer again and she picked up this time. We went to her house and she gladly accepted us. We started to prepare for dinner by setting out white place mats and orange juice. After that, I woke up.

Now you might be wondering why I'm blogging here and not on my tumblr. Well, I decide to blog about deeper issues and stuff here and more lighter, shallow stuff on my tumblr. This dream really affected me as I woke up at 6 in the morning and tears were streaming down my face. Now I want to find out what it means.

To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. you may feel victimized in some situation.

To dream that you are running away from someone indicates an issue that you are trying to avoid. If you are running from an attacker or danger, then it suggests that you are not facing and confronting your fears.

To see friends in your dream signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected but are ready to incorporate and acknowledge these rejected aspects of yourself.

To dream that you are a guest at a dinner party signifies enjoyable pleasures with close friends.

To dream that you are crying signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and a way to safely let out your fears and frustrations.

Wows. This is very accurate as yesterday night I was feeling very pissed off at my brother and my mother was defending him. Then I was on the verge of cracking but then I did not crack. I guess dreaming about this was my subconscious trying to let out my negative energy.

Once Again

Well I was a bit shaken yesterday, so many things happened and I guess that combined with unseen forces, caused me to be quite emotional. Sorry to those of you who had to put up with my mood yesterday, usually I am not that pessimistic. Today, once again, I am piecing back myself together. That said, once again, I am at my optimal hoping point. Once again setting myself up for the fall. I say, once again, bring it, because no matter how much I feel like I'm losing air, losing time, losing my way, there's always someone there for me, waiting to give me oxygen, give me a bit of their time, give me directions to the main road. Though I don't always listen to what they're saying as I don't want to give this thing up, I appreciate everything that anyone has ever done for me, be it listen to me talk about my day, or tell me that tomorrow is even brighter. Once again, I thank you all, for making sure I don't break to pieces.

Broken

I'm done.

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"Someone" (11:50:24 PM): listen to ur head yes cuz ur heart is in chaos right now. its a big flood and all the little heart ppl are like help help

11:11

The time is 11:11. Before Cotillion practice. I am wondering if I should make a wish. I wish but it turned to 11:12. Does this mean my wish is invalid? If you wish for something, do you have to do it in 60 seconds or else it doesn't work? I've been wondering that for awhile. Well I guess if you want to wish, you should already have something in mind. I don't know what to wish for anymore. If I constantly keep wishing for different things every time it turns 11:11, does that mean that none of them come true? Should I just concentrate on one wish so whatever celestial being or strange magical mechanism that grants these wishes will be able to get to me sooner? Is there even a waiting list? Who knows. Just thoughts.