Predictable

There's only three more days of school left and there's so much I want to do yet everyone is running around doing their finals, and I understand because I have to do that too, but I wish there was more time to just hang; summer may provide that escape, but who knows at this point when we will see each other once more. There are some things I want to accomplish before the year is over:

• Get my driver's license. This one is pretty straight forward since it is going to be a necessity that I get a car and learn my way around. I can't imagine not having one with my mom in one place and I in another.
• Say everything that I wanted to say but never did. This too is quite straightforward. I'm such a thought-filled person, and thoughts have been bottled up for four years or more so I really need to get them out in order to really have everything lifted from my shoulders before I go. Well, at least I've already gotten the biggest thought that I've been suppressing and hiding out, if that counts for anything. Saying everything will be hard though, as I fear sharing my thoughts as it gives people more arsenal to hurt me with in the future.
• Tell everyone close to me how much they mean to me in a creative form. This one, I will be quite vague since usually, only those people that care about me would read my blogs anyways. If you are a stranger, sorry to disappoint you, maybe I will post something in a later blog. If you are a friend, you'll just have to see.
• Watch the sunset over the horizon somewhere. I think I should, one day, around this week, go to where I can see the sunset clearly and watch the sun make the last stretch of its day journey. Sunset at this point in my life represents the ending of one chapter and the beginning of another, and thus, I find it only just that I should want to see the chapter close myself. Or maybe I just want to watch the sunset. 

There are probably more things I want to do but I can't really think of anything else at the moment. There's been so much turmoil these past couple of days as well. I wish I had the capacity and the ability to help everyone. I wish I actually could do something else instead of providing a listening ear. But, what could I possibly do?

Patience as been one of my strongest virtues and I wonder if it is forcing me to once again wait. I, being a quick person do not like to slow down for anyone or anything, but when I feel as though I should because the results would benefit me or them in the end, then I will. Why should I wait this time? I've always had bad timing. But right now, it doesn't matter anymore. Maybe I really am starting to lose it. Karma can be a bitch. 

Time to start my day. I don't want to start it off so glum and thought-filled, but these days, I sleep to one thought and wake up in the middle of another. I like to think though, silence in the head can't result in anything good over a long term period. Of course, a little silence in one's head is also favorable from time to time.

Still, off I go, once again wearing nothing but my heart on my sleeves.